Wednesday, February 8, 2012

My Dinghy

Questions. We are surrounded by questions. "How are you? What are you doing for spring break? What are you doing on Wednesday? Are you going to the game tonight? What are you studying for this test? What are you majoring in? What classes are you taking? What are you doing this summer? What do you want to do? What are you doing tonight?" If we're honest, this list could go on and on. 

Lately, I have been asking myself lots of questions. I seem to realize more and more each day that I am not in control. I like to plan in attempts to salvage my idea of where I think I'm headed, but in reality, I watch my plans get tossed like a dinghy in the waves of life's storm. I often try to grab the rudder and try to steer things in the direction I intended them to go. It's time to let go. I hold on too tightly to what I think is best. This post is mainly my frustration at figuring out what I want to do this spring break and summer. I thought I knew. I thought I had a plan. My God is defying my expectations of what I thought this summer was going to look like already. He is planting desires in my heart that I did not know existed. I thought it was time to break away from my family and live in Charlottesville and learn to be independent. I'm not so sure that's what will happen. I don't know. And that's okay.
I'm realizing that life is not so much about where you are at. It's about what you do where you are. Regardless of where I am this summer, I will be around others. I will be able to glorify the Lord, no matter what I am doing. I will placed in my own little mission field. Will I whine and complain about not feeling like this is the mission field to where I was called? I sure hope not. I hope to show Jesus to those who may not know Him. The Lord knows where the best place is for me this summer: resting in His grace and love. It does not take a geographical location to be smack dab in the center of the love of God. That sounds like a pretty good place to be to me. How about you?
If I'm meant to be an orientation leader, then I will be. Simple as that. Here's to letting go.

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